Wreck’s Rants

Invisible Gun Rant

Inspired by the “Toy Gun” buy back program recently initiated
by California’s Stone-bridge elementary principal, Charles Hill, Vice
President Biden has announced the new White House backing of a
new “Imaginary Gun”, buy back program.

We have been plagued by a recent “rash of imaginary gun incidents 
in our nation’s schools” said  Children live in terror because
of rampant imaginary gun finger pointing.

Step One of the program would entail registration of imaginary
weapons in a “National Imaginary Terror Weapon Information
Tracking System”, or NITWITS for short.

Step Two will involve conditioning the “At Risk” students to
“trade in” their unacceptable actions, like pointing fingers and
saying “bang”, or pretending to hold a sword and saying
“schwing”. This conditioning will require extensive one-
on-one sessions with the “Appointed Social Service
Engineers System”. or ASSES for short.

“Little boys shouldn’t be imagining shooting guns or fighting
a dragon.  A six or seven-year-old boy
should be “examining his or her sexual orientation”.

 Stated that the purpose of the Public School
System was not to educate, but to re-educate.  Many
of these children get these strange ideas from their
parents.  It is our duty to correct these thoughts and
set these young minds on a path to “Meaningful
Community Service”. 

Students who complete Step 2, will receive a xeroxed
copy of an autographed picture of Richard Nixon.

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