Invisible Gun Rant

Inspired by the “Toy Gun” buy back program recently initiated by California’s Stone-bridge elementary principal, Charles Hill, Vice President Biden has announced the new White House backing of a new “Imaginary Gun”, buy back program.

We have been plagued by a recent “rash of imaginary gun incidents in our nation’s schools” said Biden, "Children live in terror because of rampant imaginary gun finger pointing."

Step One of the program would entail registration of imaginary weapons in a “National Imaginary Terror Weapon Information Tracking System”, or NITWITS for short.

Step Two will involve conditioning the “At Risk” students to “trade in” their unacceptable actions, like pointing fingers and saying “bang”, or pretending to hold a sword and saying “schwing”. This conditioning will require extensive one-on-one sessions with the “Appointed Social Service Engineers System”. or ASSES for short.

“Little boys shouldn’t be imagining shooting guns or fighting a dragon.  A six or seven-year-old boy should be “examining his or her sexual orientation”.

 Stated that the purpose of the Public School System was not to educate, but to re-educate.  Many of these children get these strange ideas from their parents.  It is our duty to correct these thoughts and
set these young minds on a path to “Meaningful Community Service”. 

Students who complete Step 2, will receive a xeroxed copy of an autographed picture of Richard Nixon.

Well folks, I tried to get these lyrics in a CD sized folder which would take 4 pages front and back but…..

The words were so small that you would have to have a magnifying glass to read them. Wrecks said, “Don’t worry about the small font, just post them.” So, I did. Of course, every day we realize that we left people off the “Thank You” place in the CD so here’s more, and I am sure many will follow: Dr. Weiss, Guy Clark, Richard Dobson, Townes Van Zandt, Marina Rocks, Seth Walker, Trout Fishing in America, Guy Forsyth, Joe Ely, Ray Wylie Hubbard, Gosh!!!! I could fill volumes.  Enjoy the CD!

I wrote this song when a Grandfather  clock died at my house in Nashville.
“Wrecks Bell”

1. Grandfather Clock Wrecks Bell (top)

I’m an old grandfather clock
I just sit around and tock
everybody passing looks at me.
I sit here in the same old place
Numbers all about my face
Like tossing raindrops in the sea.

AHH But I don’t care bout all this mess.
I’ll just keep the time; you can keep the rest.
If your hands ain’t keepin’ time
They ain’t the same as mine.
You’ve got to steal that rhythm
From the rain.
You’ve got to store it up inside.
Lay back and let it ride
On shiny pinwheels for a brain.
Awh but I don’t care about happiness
I’ll just keep the time you keep the rest

I’ve spun out a hundred years
They come, and they disappear
I can turn the present into the past
But when my turn comes around
My Bodies broken down
I know my time has come at last
I don’t care about loneliness
I’ll keep the time
You can keep the rest
AHH I don’t care about all this mess,
I’ll just keep the time; you can keep the rest.

2. 113 Wet Dream
Blaze Foley

I just got back from Mexico in time to catch her second
I got lost she got through there was not nothin else to do
Till I saw her she hit the stage
She read my mind didn’t miss a page
“I read his mind and I did not miss a page”

My temperature was rising she looked so good
I Asked her please she said she would
I asked her when, “how about now”
I thought it was a dream but anyhow

Then she took me by the hand and led me to some promise land
She fenced me in, closed the gate, gave me good reason to celebrate
She fed me wine from a coffee cup, I could not keep my britches up
She said “That’s all right leave em down I have not had a man around in quite a while, Don’t touch that dial”
Her face was pretty when she would smile her face was real pretty when she would smile

Her hair was big her eyes were blue we made it to her swimming pool
We made it to it, we made it in it, she would not let me rest a minute
She said “you can rest some other time”
And I was feeling so sublime
“There was no way he could refuse,
I found his weakness and I hid his shoes.”

Thought I couldn’t but I somehow did
Thought about hiding but I couldn’t get hid
She got me up, threw down the covers
Read me a book about some lady’s lover
Then she threw down the book Opened up a bottle
Took off the break and put on the throttle
Fed me cheese from a pedigree heard
And took me to Jamaica with the flying bird

Well the moon quit shining when the sun came up
That’s all I can remember but it’s quite enough
To keep me warm when I’m too old too
keep me warm when I’m too old to
keep me warm when I’m too old too
keep me warm when I’m too old to 
DO IT ANY MORE!!

3. She Said
Wrecks Bell

Song called she said.
Then I said.
“Where’ve you been?”
She said I could not sleep but I’m alright now
She didn’t know
That I heard the motor stop, I watched the car roll silent in the driveway
It’s happened before but she thinks I snore and don’t know it

OOOH
Then she said
“How do you feel?”
Well I lied again I said I was better.
Then I nearly died,
She brushed her teeth
But there was still Bourbon on the linger.
A friend said he knew.
I said me too.

Then she said
“Somethings come up and I cannot go with you this weekend”
Then her lips went blind
And Her pretty eyes became empty holes I could see in
I lay here alone
She’s 1 inch away but already gone

What the hell is love
And why’d the devil put it here to kill me
What sick recluse makes human hearts?
Soft, dumb and blind and weak and flimsy
Everything’s gone wrong
and my favorite Beatle is still gone

4. Burden
Wrecks Bell

Take her away I don’t want her,
I couldn’t have her anyway.
I shouldn’t have been down here with her
Her credits too much to pay.

Take her away she’s a burden,
She’d only want for more.
Take her on back to her uncle,
Who runs that candy store.

We started out like silver, we ended out like dust
All the words that left her fingers were turning into rust
Cause she didn’t know this feelin’ and she couldn’t dance a lick
Being raised by her uncle
That Baptist preaching slick!

Take her away, I don’t want her,
She’d only need for more.
Take her on back to her uncle,
Who runs that candy store.

I loved her like my own skin,
She couldn’t do no wrong.
I could have turned her lie ‘in into this pretty song.
I could have taken seconds and turned them into firsts.
But her Uncle wouldn’t have me, he’d rather die of thirst

Take her away she’s a burden
She’d only want for more.
Take her on back to her uncle,
Who runs that candy store.

I’d trade the sun into street lamps if she was old as me
I’d take tomorrows drinkin and pour it in the sea
No matter how you read it, it comes out like Dick and Jane
No matter where the sun goes it rises just the same

Take her away, I don’t want her
She’d only need for more
Take her on back to her uncle,
Who runs that candy store.
Take her away she’s a burden
She’d only want for more.
Take her on back to her uncle,
Who runs that candy store

5. I’m Tired of You
Wrecks Bell (top)

I’m tired of you
could have happened any day
would have happened anyway
What could we do
But lay in waste
Drown in years
All disappointed
And fat on beer

Somehow, we fell into marriage
never fell in love
Two years of smiling
Two years with that precious dog
Can’t forget the fishing
Or the cocaine blues
How I loved you mountain time
Colorado too

But I’ve grown tired of you
could have happened any day
would have happened anyway
What could we do?
But lay in waste
Drown in years?
All disappointed
And fat on beer.
Tried to make this a love song
But it just wouldn’t do
Heavy on the lyin’
Light on the truth

I’m tired of you
could have happened any day
would have happened anyway
What could we do
But lay in waste
Drown in years
All disappointed
And fat on Star Bock Beer

6 Are you Mine
Wrecks Bell (top)

Are you mine, can I have your legs?
Can I share your yesterdays?
Can I live behind your eyes?
That’s where lovers stay
In the tears you haven’t cried.
Can I have your legs, are you mine?

Are you mine, can I have your hands?
Will they cup and pray for me or strike me down again.
If I needed you, would they be there in time?
Can I have your hands, Are you Mine?

Chorus

I can’t trust myself for these words I say.
Love isn’t love until you give it away.
I can’t trust my mind or the thoughts inside
Cause when I talk to myself, I lie.

Are you mine can I have your eyes?
I want to look at me as I receive your perfect prize.
I want to feel like this
Thill the sun goes dry.
Can I have your eyes are you mine?

Are you mine can I have your heart?
I’ll use it sparingly
I won’t wear out those loving parts.
It will never ba-beat alone it, has a home this time.
Can I have your heart Are you mine?
Can I have your legs?
Can I have your hands?
Can I have your eyes?
Can I have your heart?
You are mine

This song, written by Rich Minus. He never finished the
second verse. I wrote that verse, but the song was written by
Rich.

7. Die with My Dreams On
Rich Minus (top)

Well it’s so easy to lose track of all your dreams.
Get caught up in day to day
And let the big ones slip away.
You didn’t know that they’d been stolen by that sly old father time.
Till you saw them in a pawn shop
Years and miles on down the line.

Well I’m gonna die with my dreams on.
Playin some old-fashioned love songs
To a red headed girl, I’ve not known long,
With some friends who’d miss me when I’m gone.
She’d laughingly looks at me saying,
“I’ve never met one quite like you”,
I said hey little babe, take a good look,
and in the meantime, here’s looking at you.

Well the band wasn’t bad, so she asked me
to meet her out on the dance floor.
She looked so fine in that dress and all of the rest
I could ask but who could ask for more.
She slowly undressed in the mirror
and her beauty left me with no doubt.
You won’t find any faults in this beautiful waltz
Cause tonight is what this song’s about.

Well it’s so easy to lose track of all your dreams.
get caught up in day to day
And let the big ones slip away.
You didn’t know that they’d been stolen by that sly old father time.
Till you saw them in a pawn shop
Years and miles on down the line.

8. Heroin Cave
Wrecks Bell (top)

Life is a gift can’t believe I threw the package away.
I left it outside in the middle of the yard
Where the rain beat it down and it tore it apart
& It blew past the gutters of the dirty old streets
through the drug laden houses where nobody sleeps.
Everyone counts their blessings but me.

Love is a gift I can’t believe I drank my chances away.
I was deaf as a mute, blind as a scream
As I walked over lovers that clung to my feet.
They spun all around me and
begged for my breath but
liquor was king, and I needed my rest.
Everybody needs somebody to impress. I Guess.

Money is a gift if you have it its nice if you don’t that’s ok.
I burned and bent it I earned it and spent I threw at shadows with nobody in it.
I saved it to waste it and had a bunch Dammit!
But it burned through my packets and straight into the planet.
but everyone makes a hundred on that second test.

Life is a gamble its fragile its weak its along shot to play.
We’re born in the ring at the devil’s retreat
Where the angels keep score but were forced to compete.
I took the two deuces that god dealt to me
I beat a full house till it plead on its knees.
Everyone should be as lucky as me.

Drugs are a scourge
They took some of my best friends away.
I took them for fun my soul went to sleep
They sunburned my insides and buckled my feet.
They sped up my heart I stayed up for days
I spent two sweaty years in a heroin cave.
But now I just smoke flowers with Willie.

9 Wolves
Wrecks Bell (top)

I can’t do noting I’m getting old.
Can’t sell my music it’s way too slow.
The clock just shouted out a time or two.

It’s painted ladies on the sly.
Our sanity would pass me by and leave me lying just outside her door.
Life is strange in how it does fly
Metal flakes of history go by
Nothing’s fun and all the rhymes are used.

So take your smiles and write them down.
Use them wisely before the next round of trouble
Leaves you cold and old and mean.

Save the best for last you know
It’s what you’ve got when you get old.
And the wolves are dead and buried near the door.
Life is strange in how it does fly.

Some people never figure out why.
It’s not how you worship its simply how you are.So lighten up and carry more and the world will meet you at your door.
Some with open arms – broken limbs.
Help the ones that won’t come back its life’s amazing cul-de-sac.
The world is round, but the corners are all full.
Life is strange in how it does fly
Gentle breezes blow us right by.
The end is near and you never know it all.

10 Transplant Talking Blues
Wrecks Bell (top)

Well Tomorrow’s my birthday I’ll be two hundred and three!
Those transplants keep on a saving me.
Just to save a little bit of money and time
I had a zipper installed on my chest.
Yeah, my old body won’t quit.
I just recently wore out my 9th pair of feet.
I’ve got organs of every size.
I got em tailor made and galvanized.
When I get a reject, my eye lights up
So, I don’t have to worry about dyin.
Hell, that ain’t nothin I still got to worry about livin.

Well Both my eyes are made to last I got one of em plastic and one of-em glass.
I’ve got a rubber nose an aluminum chin
My diaphragm is made of tin.
And you hear how loud this song is sung?
I’m doin it all with a paper lung.
I got it from my paper boy he died,
got beat to a pulp.

Well I got a new liver got a new spleen.
got a new kidney it is working real keen.
got a new heart beating like it should.
Doctor told me now that my face is no good.
I’m on a waiting list for a new face, it might take a while.
I’m gonna have to wait for some really good-looking guy to drive his motorcycle into a train. 
Backwards! 

I wrote this song about my 2nd wife LeAnne Bell.
She was killed by an over worked nurse in an under staffed ward at UTMB in Galveston. I didn’t write anything for two years. It nearly killed me.

I was so blessed, after 2 years of
sorrow, Janet came into my life. We were lovers from the 60’s and seemed to pick up where we left off 50 years ago. We are married now and my life can continue. It took me two years to write this song. When I finished, I had my last
cry………………..

11. LeAnn’s Lament
Wrecks Bell (top)

It’s hard to break the news to my old friends.
Where has your lover been?
Well I’d take a knife in either hand
And open up a wound to let her in.
My broken eye would gladly die to see again
But it would not find her here.
Yea time just keeps on winning
That’s it’s job it unrelenting
And the razor sadness cuts me
Like I’m air.
I remember sayin’
“We’ll be lovers it’ll be easy”
And I can’t believe she fell for that line my friends
But I’d fall right now because she pleased me.
But the nurse was fast asleep, and those needles play for keeps
And they took her over there
They left me over here.

The sun is black

The earth is flat

There is no God

I’m sure of that

Cause I love you…….. I still love you

And I hate that

So, I spent another thousand nights alone
Wearing my lonely badge.
Whisky sends me letters and heroin keeps asking me to play.
I hear a knock I wondered who ‘d be calling me?
“Hello death come on in.”
I hear you are quite the gentleman
You never play but always win
And you cheerfully great us all as 
our lives end,

I remember say in’,
“We’ll be lovers it’ll
be easy”
And I can’t believe she fell for that line again!
But I’d fall right now because she pleased me.
But the nurse eyes were dark, and those needles met their mark. And they took her over there
But they left me over here.

The sun is black

The earth is flat

There is no God

I’m sure of that cause, love you……. I still love you –

And I hate that

12 Up Against the Wall You Redneck Mother
In Pig Latin. This was recorded in a studio.
Ray Wylie Hubbard (top)

He was born in Oklahoma
And his wife’s name is Betty Lou Thelma Liz
He’s not responsible for what he’s doing
His mother made him what he is
And it’s up against the wall, redneck mother
Mother who has raised her son so well
He’s thirty-four and drink in’ in a honky tonk Just kick in’ hippies’ asses and raisin’ hell.
He sure does like his Falstaff beer
He likes to chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor
He drives a ’57 Ford pickup truck, got a gun rack
“A Goat Roper needs love too” sticker.
And it’s up against the wall, redneck mother.
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four drink in’ in a honky tonk.
Kick in’ hippies’ asses and raisin’ hell, ah pick.
Ah play it for mama
M is for the mud flaps she gave me for my pickup truck
O is for the oil I put on my hair
T is for T-Bird
H is for Haggard
E is for Eggs
And R is for Redneck
Up against the wall, redneck mother.
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four and drink in’ in a honky Tonk.
Kick in’ hippies’ asses and raisin’ hell, let’s go.
Yeah and it’s up against the wall, redneck mother.
Mother who has raised her son so well.
He’s thirty-four drink in’ in a honky Tonk.
Kick in’ hippies’ asses and raisin’ hell.
Ah Muskogee Oklahoma where are you.

Parody Lyrics, Pig Latin by Wrecks Bell and
Mickey White, known as 
The Hemmer Ridge Mt. Boys. 
I couldn’t find the Pig-Latin Dictionary in 
Pig-Latin
So, my friend, Greg May found it in Latin! Enjoy!

Qui natus in lacinia
Et Anna uxor eius nomen est Agnus Thelma Liz 
Non est autem reus id quod fecerit hes ‘
Et facta est eo quod et ipse et mater est
Suus super murum matrem redneck
Ita etiam filio eius, qui erexit Mater
Triginta quatuor Drinkin ‘in honky tonk
Just kickin, hippies, asinas viginti et pullos uvae ‘infernum,
Certus non sicut dolor in Falstaff
Terrebit eum cum liquore velit Wild
’57 Qui expellit a RAPINA salsissimus vir vivens GMC
Possedi gun eculeo
‘Amor requirit Roper quoque capra “Sticker
Suus super murum matrem redneck
Ita etiam filio eius, qui erexit Mater
Triginta quatuor Drinkin ‘in honky tonk
Kickin, hippies, asinas viginti et pullos uvae ‘infernum, 
ah carpere
Ah pro ludo est mama
M est ad illa mihi pro luto flaps
RAPINA salsissimus vir meus
Domine est propter oleum et ponet super caput meum,
T T-Bird enim est
Not in H,
E est in eggs
R et est in Redneck
Contra murum, mater Redneck
Ita etiam filio eius, qui erexit Mater
Triginta quatuor Drinkin ‘in honky tonk
Kickin, hippies, asinas viginti et pullos uvae ‘infernum, et eamus
Yeah suus super murum matrem redneck
Ita etiam filio eius, qui erexit Mater
Triginta quatuor Drinkin ‘in honky tonk
Kickin, hippies, asinas viginti et pullos uvae ‘infernum,
Quid fascinum esse, ut eamus lacinia USA